Book Releases and Tears

Today my first stand alone work debuted on Amazon (which you can buy here).

It’s been an incredible trip to get here, and I have a confession to make.

Today, after getting home from work, and just staring at a book cover with my name on it, I  burst into loud, ugly sobbing for about thirty minutes.

Because a year ago, I didn’t think I’d ever be here.

I wrote the Bone Queen while I was in my second to last semester of grad school, and I was ready to give up writing. I hated the first draft of the Bone Queen. Hated it. I was ashamed of what I’d written.

I lost all faith in myself as a writer, and resigned myself to never writing again.

And for about six months after that, I didn’t write. I was at a point of exhaustion I didn’t think could exist. I was past just running on fumes; I ran on nothing but spite, hate, and caffeine. Graduate school really did nearly kill me and every creative bone in my body.

It wasn’t until I had turned in my thesis that I even really gave writing a try again, and I was shocked at how much just writing again helped me feel like me again. It helped me be not so exhausted, not so depressed, and anxious.

It was like falling in love with words all over again.

The Bone Queen’s revisions all happened during that slow return back to words. The first few revision drafts were painful and awkward like trying to crawl through a mine field with your arms and legs bound behind your back. But by the time the third draft was taking shape, I felt confident in my own fingers again.

I found my footing, and The Bone Queen’s story found its heart.

Seeing it in print, knowing that everything had paid off in the end just sent me into tears of relief, and joy at knowing that I did it, that I was much stronger and way more dedicated than I ever gave myself credit for. (and waaaaay more dedicated to writing than to say… getting up early to exercise. hahahaha)

So, here’s a little bit of encouragement and hope out there for anyone whose struggling with writing, who can’t see the end of the road. It’s out there, and you can get there even if you have to crawl through the mud, and drag your exhausted body across coals.

I know a lot of people are starting Nanowrimo right now, so just buckled down and crawl through the fire.

You can do it.

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3 Comments »

  1. jbay Said:

    Hi there. This is amazing news!! I checked out your book on Amazon. Is there a way I can pay you directly for a signed copy? If that’s a hassle, I’ll buy it from Amazon. Just curious. :) I can’t wait to read it!!

    P.S. – I’m doing NaNoWriMo this year (my first year), and I’m terrified and excited. Thanks for the encouragement and the awesome example of FINISHING!! BRAVA to you, lady!

    • Andi Judy Said:

      Right now I don’t have any copies to send out signed ones (thought I’d love to in the future!)
      I do go to conventions on a regular basis. I’ll be in Milledgeville, GA on the 9th, and Memphis, TN Nov. 15-17. We’re planning on having a release party for the Bone Queen at the Memphis convention ( http://memphiscfc.com ) and that will be the first convention with the books for sale.
      If any of those work for you than I can totally get a signed book your way, but otherwise, grab it on Amazon and one day our paths will cross and I can sign it then!

      Thanks so much and good luck with Nano! I know it’s tough but the important is to remember that it teaches you that you CAN write every day. <3

  2. Sarah Smith Said:

    I am so proud of you! You have proven yourself as a hang-in-there young lady. You have done what you have needed to do for yourself – waiting until everything was lined up with the correct timeline for YOU. This has proven to be just what was needed for your finalization of your book and other goals that you set for yourself along the way – like your education and the job you wanted and love! You are a strong person, and as I said, I am very proud of you. I love you very much. PutPaw

    Hope you’re having a great day! Sarah


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