One Shot Wednesday 1/5/11

Erotes

I want to tear into

your flesh

and rip out parts

of me.

And I will curl

inside your body

4th rib on the right—

entwine—

you’ll forget me

until I bloom

inside

your body

ready to be plucked

and sucked dry—

to burst

into bloom again.

 

 

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18 Comments »

  1. Colum Said:

    Whoa… 🙂

  2. randallweiss Said:

    Great metaphor.

  3. Chris G. Said:

    Interesting. A metaphor that could be applied to several things…ideas, love and relationships…striking, bloody piece that really grips at your attention right off the bat – and doesn’t let go. Here’s hoping for the bloom – keep up the good writing!

    • Judy Black Said:

      Thanks so much! I tried to keep it open that it could be taken about different concepts.

  4. Eric Said:

    Owch! Right in the ribs! (LOL!) Nice piece, Judy!

  5. victoria Said:

    Interesting structure – short and powerful

    • Judy Black Said:

      Thanks, it actually started in an entirely different structure, longer lines, then moved to a more visual shape where it curved into an ‘S’ shape and now it has settled into the current form.

  6. willow Said:

    Beautiful!

    • Judy Black Said:

      Aw thank you! Your work was incredible so it means a lot to me for you to compliment my work!

  7. fireblossom Said:

    When they least expect it….

    oh yes.

  8. Claudia Said:

    tight – strong – passionate!

    • Judy Black Said:

      Thanks!! That’s what I was trying for with this poem especially!

  9. Steve Isaak Said:

    Perfect writing – wow-worthy. 🙂

    • Judy Black Said:

      Aw, wow thank you!! I’m glad I could get a wow!! 🙂


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