One Shot Wednesday 1/12/11: Aubade

 

 

Aubade*

 

It’s 5:48 am,

that’s what the clock says.

I don’t trust those

glinting numbers—

I can’t sleep.

 

I hear a stranger

rocking against the weight

of the world. Someone

is dying. Something I

will never know is gone.

 

My spiked heart races red,

and shadows circle

the crook of my throat.

My stomach turns to iron

in the warmth of my body

forging fear.

 

The sun must want to rise by now,

woken by thoughts like mine, not

like mine, hammering against the windows

of the world, little thought-rocks cracking

the glass, breaking the sky (clouds are

fragile creatures after all, and

so am I)

 

 

Posted for One Shot Wednesday Please go check it out and read all of the amazing poems shared there!

*An aubade is (generally) a poem or song of or about lovers separating at dawn. It’s a great style to get into, feel free to take it as a writing prompt and let me know how it goes!

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21 Comments »

  1. waystationone Said:

    love how in tune you person is…i know that fragileness as i often feel the pain of another and you capture that nicely…great one shot

    • Judy Black Said:

      Aw, thank you! I’m glad I could capture that fragile feeling!

  2. Fireblossom Said:

    I love that ending. I also love “something I will never know is gone.”

  3. JTW Said:

    yup, love your style. i’ll be back for more.

    • Judy Black Said:

      Glad you enjoy my style! Looking forward to exchanging comments with you! 🙂

  4. Myrna Said:

    Very nice. I really get the sense of anxiety, a sleepless worry filled night. Well done.

  5. randallweiss Said:

    I especially like lines 13, 16, and 19. Strong imagery throughout.

  6. dustus Said:

    Wonderful how you describe the anxiety and pre-dawn fear of watching the clock and realizing one’s vulnerability. Cheers

    • Judy Black Said:

      Thanks so much! I’m so glad that anxious feeling made it through!

  7. Claudia Said:

    i’m a fragile creature as well…think we all are – but sometimes we tend to forget it…i like how you capture this moment judy

    • Judy Black Said:

      Aw, thank you so much! You are also amazing! The villanelle post you did was so inspiring!

  8. Dick Said:

    This captures so well that sense of suspension between the world of night and the anticipated dawn; that time when we are at our most vulnerable.

    • Judy Black Said:

      Absolutely. I’ve always thought that people are their most fragile just before dawn.

  9. Shashi Said:

    Dear Judy
    Beautiful imagery.. of sun, the world and the sky… I enjoyed it all. Thanks for sharing… the anxiety and the pain…

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
    Twitter @VerseEveryDay

  10. […] One Shot Wednesday 1/12/11: Aubade « Judy Black Cloud […]

  11. Steve Isaak Said:

    Exemplary line breaks, images – sensory-rich stuff. Felt this one.

    • Judy Black Said:

      Yay! I’m glad the line breaks worked with this one, they were a big struggle.


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