One Shot Wednesday: 1/19/11 Dissection

Dissection

 

I know you want me

open on the table

to see what makes me

tick-tock.

 

You only know

how I work

in little pieces

under slides

illuminated,

contained.

 

You cut samples,

scalpel sliding smoothly

in-out

taking more pieces

than I can give.

 

This is a rough draft of a poem I’ve been working on.

Please go and chest out the amazing One Shot Poetry and share your poem every Wednesday!

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22 Comments »

  1. brian Said:

    oo i like it…not sure the feeling behind it…do they really want to know you or…cant wait to see the rest…

    • Judy Black Said:

      Me either! This one is absolutely still a work in progress, constantly evolving still.

  2. randallweiss Said:

    I recall seeing an earlier draft of this poem…

    I think “tick-tock” and “scalpel sliding smoothly” are especially good lines.

    • Judy Black Said:

      tick tock is my favorite line in this poem. It always make me smile when I read it out loud. I think you have seen a rough early draft of this, and will probably see a later draft of it in the future! 🙂

  3. Monty Said:

    great job! I woulda never thought of looking at this from the victim’s pov lol and it could mean sex. . .it could 🙂

  4. tolbert Said:

    wow. work no more, it is done! from the beginning you had me wanting you open on the table~and i am no doctor!

    however, from the medical side i suppose i see a giver of life, a donor from whom more is taken than can be given…unless.

    either way, it is well written, concise and beautiful. for the record, i will stay with my first observation… 🙂

    • Judy Black Said:

      Aw, thank you! I’m so glad you see several different interpretations for this work.

  5. Ami Said:

    This is fantastic! “I know you want me/open on the table” is such a provocative image. And its brevity makes this really powerful! Thank you for sharing!

    • Judy Black Said:

      I’m so glad you enjoyed it even from the beginning! I was hoping to start something provocative from the very beginning.

  6. coalblack Said:

    are we related, ms. black? i even recently wrote a poem called tic toc. the world teems with oddnesses.

    i like this a lot. i’m reading it that a man never understands a woman entirely. i especially am liking the line about “taking more pieces than i can give.”

    • Judy Black Said:

      We may be related, what a funny small world! I like your interpretation of this poem and I’d love to see your tic-toc poem!

  7. Powerful words… unlike the above it made me think of a cancer patient. Too obvious?

    Here’s my One Shot: Rhyme Me a Smile

    • Judy Black Said:

      Hm.. that is not an interpretation I’ve heard before but I really like it. I love seeing all the different perceptions people are having from the poem! 🙂

  8. Great word and break choices. Love the beat. Thank you for sharing!

  9. Shashi Said:

    Deary Judy

    Its beautiful. I liked it very much.. thanks for sharing..

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay

  10. booguloo Said:

    I pictured a scalpel on the end of a pendulum.. swinging.. too many Vincent Price movies..

    • Judy Black Said:

      Oooh, glad my poem could bring up images of Vincent Price movies!

  11. Draven Ames Said:

    Relationships can be like this. I take it that you are a closed off person, emotionally?

    Great poem

    • Judy Black Said:

      Glad you enjoyed the poem! I am indeed a very closed off person.


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