We interrupt your regular scheduled blog post for a brief mental breakdown.

First off, sorry for missing all of my updates last week. School has not beaten me like I thought it would. It has utterly curb stomped me.

I missed the first half of the first week of classes after a family emergency, and have not felt like I’ve caught up since.

I’m trying to throw together a thesis in time enough for me to graduate in May while I still have my tuition covered with an assistantship… but that was pretty much shot down last week.

I don’t know what to do for my thesis. I don’t feel like I know anything. Every time someone in one of my classes starts talking I feel like the kid in the dunce hat sitting in the corner. It isn’t my first year here so why do I still feel like a clueless idiot?

I feel like I’m in the totally wrong place, wasting my time with this degreee. It’s keeping me from what I want to do: write.

I don’t even know what I’m going to do with this degree? Teach? Please, like I could find a job!

I’m just really frustrated by the whole thing and hate that I feel like I’ve made a terrible mistake going back to school. I’m not going to drop out, I’m way too far invested to do that, but I’m just so ready to be done.

I’m hoping that it’s just a combination of stress and lack of sleep making me feel this way and it will pass.

Anyways, sorry for the rant-tastic, emo-filled post but I wanted to just vent.


1 Comment »

  1. Laura W. Said:

    You can do it!!!! 😀

    Whenever That Smart Kid starts talking, I usually a) sit there and stare intently, nodding wisely as though I’d actually done the reading; or b) raise my hand and play devil’s advocate to whatever their opinion is. Practice for bs-ing in the real world. 😉

    I’m sorry to hear about your family emergency. I don’t know what happened, but it might be the case that the stress from that is affecting your ability to concentrate on school, or at least is adding to the frustration. If you find that’s the case, it might be helpful to talk to someone about it. Even if it’s just a Wine & Whine with some girlfriends (a few of my friends do this on a monthly basis. Apparently it’s very therapeutic). 🙂

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